


About dreams

by stopthismiracle



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, M/M, a bit of inline skate speed race!au, lots of thing are implicit, weird timelines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 22:45:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15873225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stopthismiracle/pseuds/stopthismiracle
Summary: On clear nights, he dreams.He dreams about the sea, the warm sand in his feet, the breeze singing a little song, then swimming, swimming with his eyes open, no saltiness that gets in his eyes, looking down and upfront, no need to take a breath, just him being one with the sea. Once he swims up to take a breath, he wakes.





	About dreams

**Author's Note:**

> this is a mess, but i'm not sorry lol

 

On clear nights, he dreams.

  
  
  
He dreams about the sea, the warm sand in his feet, the breeze singing a little song, then swimming, swimming with his eyes open, no saltiness that gets in his eyes, looking down and upfront, no need to take a breath, just him being one with the sea. Once he swims up to take a breath, he wakes.  
  
He wakes with loving arms holding him. A light layer of sweat covering their bodies. Long time ago, he would have pushed his bed partner, feeling a little bit disgusted by the dampness, but now, he could only smile trying to clean the face of the one he loved. The other stirred in his place, waking up slowly, then pouting a little bit holding him tighter. ‘It’s still early’, he says. Yuta nods settling his head on the others chest, closing his eyes waiting to go back to sleep.

  
  
*

  
  
It was late, no, scratch that, he was late. He considered himself a very fast runner but somehow his legs felt heavier than ever and the clock in his wrist was telling him that he was being very slow. His trainer and the team were going to behead him, for sure. The last weekend he was also late for their little weekend’s championship. Somehow, he couldn’t wait to get in the pro team (but that wasn’t going to happen if he kept getting late to the races), or quitting, whichever came first.

  
He reached the small stadium, throwing his duffel bag in the bleachers, avoiding looking at his trainer in the eyes. He put on his skates and his old helmet, the fastest he could, trying to tie them tighter enough.

  
“Nakamoto, you’re on the next race. It’s the 10.000 meter one, so don’t spend all your energy on the first laps.” The trainer said, guiding him towards the rink. “Also, the next time you come late, I won’t let you compete, I don’t care about your ranking, so you better be in time, go.” The old man said, giving him a push, he greeted the racers that were taking spots in the track.

  
  
“You weren’t in the warming up.” He heard on his right, Yuta just smiling preparing his position to start. The rink became quiet, everybody in position, until the referee signaled the start with his whistle.

 

He quickly positioned himself second in the group leading the career, being guided by rhythm of the racer in front of him, wishing for the guy to tire himself before the last couple of laps.

 

“I hate you so much, you always do this even if you don’t warm up.” He heard the same voice behind him struggle a bit. Yuta smiled, Taeyong always made an effort to be behind him on long distance competitions. Waiting the last minute to resolve the race between the two of them, sprinting the last meters.

 

“It’s always fun to race against you, Taeyong-ah!” He says while taking the curve.

 

The race ends up with him in third place, Taeyong fifth.

  
  
Day one of the competition went by so fast, he had another race in which he came second in the overall. He went home exhausted and woke up two hours early to get to the rink in time the second day, in which he had a short competition, just 300 meters, he came in fourth (he fell during the warm up time which made his knee bleed, he wondered briefly if the universe was telling him he didn’t need to be up that early nor the warm up, but whatever), when he finished the race Taeyong was waiting for him, like always. Even if they weren’t on the same team, they bonded since they were little in junior championships, now that they had to compete every weekend (or every other weekend), it became some sort of motivation during practices.

 

Taeyong helped him organize his stuff before parting home, they lived close by (same station, different direction to walk by), his knee looked swollen, so he just wore a hoodie over his racing suit, forgetting about his training pants that his friends always told him they were too tight.

 

“You better clean that up again once you reach home” Taeyong said once they were walking to the station.

 

“Yes, mom.” He said looking at his leg, smiling a bit. “Would you come by, today? My mom told me to invite you to get dinner after the race…”

 

“Your mom invited me? Not you?”

 

Yuta looked at Taeyong frowning a bit. “No, of course it was me, but my mom loves you a lot.”  
“Only because I make you tidy up every time I visit, right?”

 

Yuta laughed aloud, that laugh that made him stumble a bit, Taeyong was smiling at him. “No, it’s just you’re very lovable, Taeyong-ah…”

  
  
*

  
On summer vacation they made arcade dates, which suck for Yuta, but seeing Taeyong jumping around the machines pays off a whole afternoon of losing. Sometimes they spend the day in Yuta’s place, sometimes they spent the night watching movies in Taeyong's room.

 

*

 

Summer ended fast with a weird feeling in Yuta's gut, he was going to miss Taeyong so much during the first month of the school year. They didn't go to the same school, Taeyong went to an art school, and Yuta went to a school were most of the Japanese residents in Seoul went. The schools were placed in different parts of the city, which made almost impossible to meet during the weekdays.

 

He waited anxiously for the new season to come. It was his first time competing with the professional team (he sent a text to Taeyong when he found out he made it, the message was left unread, and the congratulatory words never came, Yuta felt a little bitter, but he let it pass) , and he couldn't wait to see his friend by his side. And meet the other racers in his category.

 

The first weekend of the season came and Taeyong didn't appear. He left countless of messages in his inbox, all unread. He let it pass, not really worrying about it.

 

The second weekend of competitions came, and Taeyong also didn't show up. He scored a horrible tenth place during his long-distance race, just thinking where Taeyong could be. He couldn't miss more dates if he wanted to secure a place in the national team or to qualify to an international competition, if Taeyong was in the pro team like he was now, _he should be right?_ Yuta muttered to himself wondering where his friend could be. Yuta could only dream about the last one, for obvious reasons, but he knew Taeyong dreamed about racing with his country flag in his chest.

 

Around thirty messages were left unread in their chatroom. Yuta decided to ditch the second day of competition to look for his friend.

 

 

 

He woke up early, he knew Taeyong family went to church on Sundays and he planned to visit before the family left the house. He didn't know at what time the ceremony started nor how long they usually were. So, by eight in the morning he was leaving his house. No one in his house noticed he left his inline skates and helmet behind. He borrowed one of his sister’s bicycle to get to Taeyong’s place faster, hoping the family hadn’t left already, because he didn’t know where to go if that was the case, and waiting for them to get back didn’t appear as an option in his mind.

 

When he ringed the bell to Taeyong's apartment he suddenly felt nervous, what of the other one didn't want to see him?

 

Taeyong's sister opened the door for him, waking him from his fantasies about the slightly older one hating him.

 

“Oh Yuta! Taeyong is in his room getting ready. Come on in! Are you going to the service with us?”

 

“Uhmm, no, I'm ok. I just wanted to talk.”

 

“Ok. Just don't take too long, we’re leaving in twenty minutes”. She said, closing the door behind him.

 

Yuta briefly greeted Taeyong's parents that were reading the newspaper before knocking the door to his friend room.

 

“Hey.” He said, feeling a month’s weight of silence in his throat.

 

“Yuta… what are you doing here?”

 

“I missed you. You missed the competitions…” He watched as his friend turned back grabbing a jacket that was on the bed.

 

“I quitted, Yuta… I’m not going to race again…”

 

“What? Why?”

 

“I’m not considering this a future career, also didn't made it to the pro team cut” Taeyong's lips almost disappeared in a line. “So, I quitted.”

 

“Why you didn't answer my texts?” Yuta said, despair in his voice. He wanted to be closer, not let room to the awkwardness.

 

“I… I was afraid.” Taeyong said looking at Yuta in the eyes. He could feel the other one wanted to close the gap too. Just didn't dare to it.

 

But Yuta did.

 

He hugged Taeyong, letting his head rest on the boy’s shoulder. He felt the shy arms circle his waist. “Don't disappear like that again, please…” Taeyong laughed a little, releasing the tension in the air. “Hey, stay with me today… don’t go to church.” Yuta asked before breaking the hug.

 

“You want me to sin?” Taeyong asked laughing, not letting go of Yuta’s hand.

 

“Well, if you want to sin, we can do it…” He said winking his eyes at a laughing Taeyong, who let go of Yuta’s hand to inform his parents he wasn’t following them to the service. Yuta sat on the boy’s bed, hearing hushing voices that didn’t sound too thrilled with Taeyong’s decision. He checked his phone, letting his sister know he wasn’t going back for lunch.

 

That day, spent in cuddles in Taeyong’s room, watching videos of puppies in youtube, eating junk food in the park later that day, was a day Yuta treasured a lot.

 

 

*

 

 

He set the speakers in a corner of their room, searching for a playlist to dance to. The coffee table had been carefully moved to a corner and the only light turned on was a small lamp they used when they watched movies in their couch. He felt the other presence in the room. He got distracted looking at the skinny jeans the other decided to wear, eyes hanging around the thin leather belt he got him as a birthday present long time ago. He threw his phone to the couch, _Take a chance on me_ by ABBA playing in the background.

 

Both started dancing, moving their arms in all directions, singing the sound in loud voices, looking at each other in a flirty way, then laughing, still dancing, moving their bodies to the rhythm of the song and around each other, hugging each other to continue dancing on their own. Like a small choreography only the two of them knew about. After thirty minutes they decided to throw themselves to the couch and look for a slower song.

 

“I feel so old.”

 

“You’re a bit…” He said smiling to his phone, he felt a light push in his arm.

 

“Tomorrow we’ll have to be up early.” He said looking at the time in his own phone. “Your parents wanted us to help them to clean a warehouse? Something like that…”

 

“Such a grandpa, I didn’t marry you to go to sleep early on a friday night.” He sighed. “Let’s ignore my parents, they only ask you stuff because they know you’re not able to say no to them….”

 

“We’re still not married…” Taeyong grabbed one of Yuta’s hand, the one where he carried the ring from their fourth anniversary.

 

“Because we can’t, otherwise… things will be different.” Yuta said lightly, it wasn’t something they took too seriously, but the dream was there, just like their small apartment and the rings they shared. Taeyong kissed his cheek. “Hey, any recommendations for a slower song? I can’t think of anything right now”.

 

“Let’s stay like this for a bit.”

 

“Such a grandpa.” Yuta said, but let himself rest in Taeyong’s chest, still using his phone.

 

 

*

 

 

On cloudy nights, he thinks he dreams.

 

It’s hard to recognize the place where he is, it’s a mixture of colors surrounding him. He looked to his right founding his lover there, he took his hand, smiled to each other, and admired the dance of colors in front of them.

 

 

*

 

 

They get together in a subway station after classes, Yuta decided to skip training once in his life to go to play with Taeyong around the city. It was probably one of the last opportunities for them to get together before exam season and university applications started. Yuta saw Taeyong running with his prescription glasses still on, bag almost falling from his shoulder and hair a little bit longer than the last time he saw him.

 

“Hey! You dyed your hair!” Taeyong said, doing a small handshake to greet him.

 

“I didn’t think you would notice…” He ran a hand through his hair, it was a lighter shade of brown, nothing crazy, he just noticed how it wasn’t as soft as before. But Taeyong looked mesmerized with his new hair. “my sister helped me with it…”

 

“It looks good! I like it.” He said running his fingers through Yuta’s hair. When they realized that the gesture was little bit intimate for what they were used to both got red in their faces, laughing in embarrassment.

 

They went for their usual arcade spot, playing shooting game and again, sucking at it.

 

“Hey, I have something to tell you.” Yuta said when they were heading back to the subway station.

 

“What is it?” Taeyong said, trying to not sound as nervous as he was starting to feel.

 

“I’m going out with a boy.” Taeyong stopped for a bit, surprised. Was he really surprised? Or disappointed?

 

“Wow, Yuta, congrats, is he from your school?” Taeyong said faking his smile, luckily for him, Yuta wasn’t looking at him too flustered by his words. Yuta nodded, noticing his friend look on him. “I’m happy for you, Yuta”

 

“I haven’t told my parents yet… he’s a little bit older, that’s why.”

 

“It’s not a teacher, right?” Taeyong said, thinking about the possibility of his friend being in a dangerous relationship.

 

“No.” He laughed. “He helps at my school, he’s studies to become a teacher.”

 

“Still a little bit dangerous…” Taeyong said, squinting his eyes.

 

“I swear it’s not...” Yuta said a little bit too high.

 

“It’s ok, Yuta, just let me know if he breaks your heart.”

 

“Are you going to punch him or something?” For a moment Yuta sounded excited, like if the thought of Taeyong punching someone for him was something to look for, even if both knew Yuta could break anyone’s nose if someone dared to hurt him.

 

“No… just probably let you crash at my place, and watch movies all night.” Taeyong said, shrugging.

 

Yuta laughed, making him do a handshake. “It’s a deal then”

 

 

*

 

 

Exactly three months later a heartbroken Yuta shows up at Taeyong’s apartment. They didn’t need words to communicate, so Taeyong simply hugged him as soon as he saw him standing face low. He invited him to his room and made him lay down in his bed, he left the room telling him he was going to buy something sweet for them to eat. Yuta smiled feeling the smell of freshly washed laundry dull him to sleep.

 

Taeyong ran to the small market, grabbing come ice cream, cookies and milk tea for them to eat. He ran back home, feeling the weight of the months without exercise in his body.

 

He made Yuta sit in his desk to have some ice cream, settling in his laptop finding a playlist to dance to. When _My My My!_ , started to play, Yuta raised his head and smiled.

 

“Weren’t we supposed to watch a movie?”

 

“I thought it was better if we dance a little bit first.” He said, reaching for Yuta making him stand up and guiding him through the dance.

 

“Were you thinking about this?”

 

“No, but I think about you a lot.” He said slowly, hugging Yuta again. They pulled apart this time focusing on the music, moving their bodies around the small room with their eyes closed. They got close again, light touches making them dance closer, moving their bodies align, in both heads, the lyrics making some sense for them. “This is dangerous…” Yuta said while smiling sweetly at him. Taeyong pretended not to listen while from the speakers the singer sung.

 

_You should know I, you should know I_

_(Yeah I boom) I bloom just for you_

 

The music stopped after a while. “Are you ok?” Taeyong said, sitting on the floor, a little bit tired.

 

“I’m better, thanks” Yuta said grabbing Taeyong’s hand, sitting close to him in the floor while the other one searched for something to watch. Yuta started laughing. “That was super gay.”

 

“Yuta, you’re gay” Taeyong told him with an incredulous look.

 

“True, still doesn’t make it any less. Are you, though?”

 

“What?”

 

“Gay?”

 

Taeyong looked at him straight in the eye… the way Yuta was looking at him. It made him wanted to erase that smug smile with a kiss. But he couldn’t, not yet.

 

“No.”

 

He lied.

 

 

*

 

“So… On Wednesday you have an interview, that means we can’t go to the market together… should we let it for Thursday?”

 

“Yeah, Thursday is good… We have to clean the attic, my dad asked me to get them some stuff that supposedly it’s still there…”

 

“Didn’t you tell me they stopped using this house a long time ago?”

 

Yuta raised his shoulders. “Apparently they left some of my grandparents’ stuff there… never bothered to move them.”

 

Taeyong hummed, taking a sip of his tea. “By the way, I got in, I’m gonna teach Korean at the cultural center…” He said smiling.

 

Yuta only reacted throwing himself at Taeyong filling his face with small kissed until started to laugh. “You’re the best.”

 

“I’m ok.” Taeyong said, smiling, he took Yuta by the waist, kissing him slowly and deep, he felt the other’s body melt in his arms, it was a good feeling.

 

 

*

 

 

He started dreaming two nights before.

 

In the dream, Taeyong was the ocean, he swims through him, let himself be embraced by water pressured, like a warm hug. Taeyong is there for him, he can’t drown, if Taeyong is the sea.

 

 

*

 

 

Things didn’t get awkward per se, they went back to normal, but every now and then they got lost in each other’s face which left them confused and agitated. Yuta would laugh out loud pushing his friend away from him, it was instinct, not like he actually meant to push him, he just didn’t want a bigger heartache that the one he already went through. And he knew, Taeyong meant a bigger heartache. Taeyong usually stayed silent, looking at floor, a little bit ashamed. The awkwardness usually went away with a smile on their face, and the promise of more hang outs.

 

They stopped for a while, the university entrance exams were around the corner, and Yuta, even though he didn’t knew what he wanted to pursue yet (being speed skate race the only thing in his mind for the longest time), he just studied along with his classmates. He told his parents his decision of staying in Korea for university, his parents planning to return to Japan after he finished his high school studies were a little disappointed, or that was he thought. But with all honesty, he couldn’t return to Japan when nothing was waiting there for him. He had everything in Korea, or at least his heart.

 

Taeyong knew everything he wanted, so Yuta planned to tag along, just for sake of keeping his friendship.

 

He said that, trying to convince himself.

 

“You should do college because of yourself, not because of someone else.” His older sister told him when she was visiting.

 

“I’m not, I swear, he just motivates me, it’s not like I’m following him blindly, I want to do better.” He answered back, feeling the despair in the end of his throat.

 

“I can’t understand why you won’t tell him, you both are young, and you know he likes you.” She said in a more hushed voice, hopping their parents weren’t eavesdropping on them.

 

“It’s more difficult than you think.”

 

 

*

 

“Remember when you quitted uni and you came home really wasted and told me a story about feeling like drowning?”

 

“What? Why are we suddenly speaking about this?” Yuta said not moving from his position in between Taeyongs’ legs.

 

“I don’t know, I just think it’s kind of ironic how we ended up living in the beach.” Taeyong said smiling. Yuta laughed, then proceeded to leave a kiss in Taeyong’s cheek.

 

“You know, I always dreamt of the sea. I guess I just wanted to tell you how much I was in love with you.”

 

Taeyong hiding his face in the crook of Yuta’s neck, hugging tighter said, “You were? Not now?”

 

“I’m still am, I wouldn’t be here otherwise.” A seagull went by, distracting them, they had brought their lunch to the beach and now they were enjoying the sun and the soft saltiness in the breeze. “You’re like the sea.”

 

“What does that mean?” Taeyong said laughing, feeling Yuta’s heart drum hard in his ribcage, or maybe it was his?

 

“I don’t know, just… that”

 

“It’s ok, as long as you feel safe in it.”

 

“I do.”

   

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!


End file.
